Thursday, October 19, 2017

RESTORING OURSELVES

My wife Jeanne and I recently returned from a much-needed eight day vacation in the town of Wellfleet on Cape Cod in Massachusetts. That section of Cap Cod is only three miles wide. On one side is the Atlantic Ocean and on the other is the bay. Every day we walked on the beaches at the water's edge. We focused on what it felt like to walk in the moist sand, to hear the comings and goings of the waves, to feel on our bodies the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the onshore breeze, to smell the salt air. We sat on the sand and did our meditation taking it all in physically, psychologically and spiritually.
It was so restorative. The cumulative tiredness and depletion of the effects of my recent medical crisis and the many months of our work as psychotherapists gradually ebbed away. We felt nourished by this immersion in the natural world, our dormant and depleted life energy was being replenished. It was a reminder to both of us that whenever we have experienced a physical/psychological/spiritual crisis spending concentrated time in nature has been the most reliable source of reconnecting to the life force both within and outside of us.
Who knows why spending that kind of time by the ocean is so restorative. Certainly there is something primordial about being at the ocean's edge. Is there some resonance with our reptilian brain that reminds us of the origins of our species? Is there some connecting with the primal memories of being in the nourishing waters of the womb? Is there something about the intake of negative ions that affects us at a cellular level? Is the unending ebb and flow of the tidal waters connecting our spirits with some feelings about eternal life? Maybe all of the above.
As psychotherapists and counsellors it is essential for all of us to have ways of restoring ourselves. We all spend many hours each week in the energy field of the suffering and struggles of our clients. Each of our clients needs us to be an open-hearted compassionate presence. After work when we return home our partners and children also need us to be emotionally available. How do we sustain that level of presence and not become exhausted, overwhelmed, emotionally distant, resentful and numb?
In order to sustain that level of empathic connection which is necessary for our most optimal work each of us needs to find our ways of restoring ourselves that uniquely fit us. From over 40 years of experience in private practice I have learned that a primary pathway is to regularly spend solitary time in some local nature setting. Whenever I sit, stand or walk alongside the brook that is behind my home or the water flowing at the bottom of the small gorge several miles away or at a local pond I feel reenergized. My psychological and spiritual batteries are being recharged. Standing or sitting by the water, acknowledging this felt sense of the presence of life giving energy, I take some meditational breaths. With the inhale I say "Water of life" and with the exhale breath I release the feelings of depletion.
When I am in the office in the psychological energy field of my patient's strong feelings, that sometimes can be overwhelming, I look at the painting of a pond that I placed on the wall behind my patient. Using that image to tap into the memory of the feeling state of being by the water I quietly do a few meditational breaths. With the inhale breath I imagine myself accessing the felt sense of being by the water and with exhale breath releasing the feelings of anxiety about being overwhelmed by the power of my patient's feelings. Gradually I begin to feel that some larger source of life is sustaining me at that moment. I am again able to be fully present with an open heart.

For more about this topic I encourage you to read another blog entitled "A Walk In the Woods" and the youtube video called "Recharging" www.youtube.com/WilliamPRyanPhd