RECHARGING

   Each day as therapists and counselors we are in the psychological energy field of so much suffering and struggle. In one morning or evening of work some patients will be depressed,anxious,grieving, angst-ridden,doubtful,despairing or enraged. Or a combination of those feelings. Our office reverberates  with the energy of those feeling states,day after day,week after week, month after month for years.

   Each of our patients needs us to be a compassionate listener, a source of loving kindness, and a carrier of hope. How do we sustain that level of presence and not become exhausted, emotionally distant or numb? How can we be in the psychological energy field of that amount of suffering and then go home and be emotionally available to our spouses, partners and children? This is one of the greatest personal  challenges of doing this lifework.

   I call the process of replenishing the energy supplies of our emotional,physical and psychospiritual batteries recharging. I have developed ways of recharging myself both outside of and during sessions that I would like to pass on. Before I discuss these it is important that I ask you to consider this question: why are psychotherapists and counselors so good at taking care of others and not good at taking care of themselves? 

   It is important that each of us explore that question in depth in our individual psychotherapy. From my own personal experience, and of working with psychotherapists whom I've had as patients, the answers were found in exploring how the role that I played in my family contributed to my choosing this lifework. As a child being the emotional caretaker of my mother was a reliable source of love and special status with her. That led me to unconsciously take on the role of emotional caretaker of others as a primary source of approval and love from others and self-esteem from myself. In my own psychotherapy I discovered that my struggles in taking care of myself were connected to an unconscious fear that others would no longer love me if I took time away from them to take care of me. That fear made me anxious about and resistant to doing things for myself. I would encourage you to learn what are the psychological roots of your difficulty in taking care of yourself.

   I have found two primary pathways of taking care of ourselves outside of sessions. the first is to take regular solitary time- at least a few hours each week - away from everyone, to do something that is nourishing for you. For me that involves taking a contemplative walk in some local nature setting at least once a week. For other therapists and counselors that I know that solitary time is by riding a motorcycle, horseback riding,spending time in the garden or in an art studio. The essential aspects are that the captivity feels replenishing and that it occurs in some place where no one can access you. Because the nature of our personalities tends to be that when we are with other people we think of their needs before our own it is critical to have regular time when we take care of only ourselves. the second pathway is to regularly spend playful time with playmates. Playmates are people with whom we share a passion and who have no psychological need for us to take care of them. I have friends with whom I share my passions for jazz and college basketball. other therapists that I know are in community theatre. have a weekly poker game, play music or sing with others.

   It is also possible to recharge ourselves during sessions. Within the limitations of this brief blog I will describe effective ways of doing this that I have evolved. Whenever I am with a very fearful patient I spend a few moments looking at a Taoist painting behind the patient's chair. It depicts a man sitting in a small boat in a tranquil lake and to me it symbolizes serenity. It reminds me of solitary time that I've spent by a local pond. As I glance at the painting I take a few meditational breaths - imagining with the out breath that I am releasing any fearful energy from my patient that might have entered my field of consciousness. When I am with a patient who is deeply grieving I look at a wood carving behind the patients chair again with some meditational breathing imagine myself releasing any sadness from my patient that may have entered my field of consciousness. This redwood carving is of the head of a bearded old man - it is my image of Wiseheart, my Higher Self whose Big Heart is capable of much more compassion than my ordinary small heart. When I am feeling depleted or overwhelmed by what a patient is describing I look at a large poster in a corner of my office. It is of a giant redwood - to me a symbol of great strength and stamina. I recall what it felt like to walk underneath those giants and to walk among the big trees near my home. With the in breath I take in that feeling of strength and with the out breath I let go of feelings of depletion.

   Having done this kind of recharging for years I am pleased to report how effective it has been in helping me to sustain a sense of open-hearted compassionate presence for hour after hour and not feel the need to become distant in order to protect myself from the cumulative effect of the enormity of feelings that we are present to in this work. Hopefully this will help you to find something similar that will work for you.

   This entry is based on the Recharging chapter in Working From the Heart: A Therapist's Guide to Heart-Centered Psychotherapy   

SANCTUARY

   Whatever struggles or suffering that they are experiencing in their outer world, our patients need to feel that, once our office door closes, that they are in a place of temporary retreat from that world. Even though they may not be able to articulate that they need this, at some level of consciousness their wounded psyches are seeking that safe person, that place of refuge - a sanctuary.  

   So many of our patients come from unsafe family backgrounds where they were subjected to psychological or physical abuse. Or deprived of essential emotional nurturance. With these patients it is especially important that we move away from the model of the emotionally distant professional. Their wounded or neglected psyches are in hiding. They need to feel from us a welcoming warmth and a compassionate caring. Then we are offering them an invitation to come out from that self-protective hiding space. By our open-hearted warmth and acts of loving kindness we are saying,"This is a safe place no harm will come to you. You will be treated with respect and genuine caring."  

   For this reason it is also important to pay attention to the physical ambience of our office space. So much of what we communicate to our patients is transmitted non-verbally and at non-rational levels of consciousness. Some practitioners have offices that are cold and impersonal. The lighting is harsh, the furniture uncomfortable, the artwork is neutral and there are few personal objects reflecting the personality of the therapist or counsellor. The office may look professional - it may even be well decorated - but something is missing. It is important to ask ourselves: Does my office communicate to patients that they are entering a safe space in which they will be treated with warmth, kindness and dignity? Of course how we answer that question will be unique, fitted to our individual personalities and the limitations of the physical space.  

   There is another meaning of the word sanctuary that is applicable to our work. Derived from the Latin word sanctus - holy - a sanctuary is a place that has been dedicated to a holy or sacred purpose. How that connects to psychotherapy and counseling I discussed in an earlier blog wherein I encouraged us to consider a possible additional aspect of our work - being a soul friend. In this limited space I will not engage in an ontological discussion of "soul." Suffice to say what I am referring to is the "essential nature" of our patients. If you observe young children - in my case, grandchildren - you can witness certain unique qualities that are present from very early in their lives. For many of our patients their essential nature has not been treated well throughout their lives. By our offering ourselves as soul friend  we are saying that we will value, respect, nourish, celebrate and lovingly challenge their essential nature. That is a deep sacred pledge, a "holy" purpose. By consciously creating an atmosphere of compassionate caring we are saying, This is a safe, loving place in which your wounded, neglected soul can come out of hiding and become more whole.  

This blog entry is based on the Sanctuary chapter of my book, Working From the Heart: A Therapist's Guide to Heart-Centered Psychotherapy    

The Council

   At some point in the process of their psychotherapy each client will present some complex life dilemma, the resolution of which will result in some significant changes in their life. Sometimes people will initiate therapy because of this crisis. At other times the dilemma will occur as the process unfolds. During this time of great conflict our clients experience a lot of inner tension and confusion because they have very different. often opposing, feelings and thoughts about what to do.

   One of the first things I tell my clients is that this dilemma cannot be resolved at the level of consciousness that it currently exists. Rational or pragmatic approaches - like making lists of pros and cons - may be helpful, but they will be insufficient in coming to a resolution that answers the question What is in my best interests in this situation at this time of my life?
  
   From my four decades of experience as a psychotherapist in private practice the best resolutions come from the realm of the hearts of therapist and client and by engaging the Higher Self as a source on inner wisdom and deep compassion. I tell my clients that the persistent thoughts and feelings that they are experiencing are emanating from distinct parts of heir personality. These parts are in a state of dynamic tension. Because they cannot tolerate the amount of tension and uncertainty most people make a premature decision based on only one or two p[arts of their personality. What is needed is some way of helping all the distinct parts of the personality to work together for the best interests of the whole person. And some way of containing the dynamic tension until the best resolution emerges.

   I offer my clients the metaphorical tool of The Council as an alternative pathway to resolve the big dilemma. I ask my clients to imagine that the various parts of their personality have decided to have a meeting to discuss in depth this issue. I ask them to imagine a particular setting in which this gathering would occur and describe a number of possible places that others have used. Commonly people have decided to convene their Council in some nature setting such as the woods, ocean/lake, mountaintop or desert. For example, when I have a Council for myself I imagine that it meets in the woods around a campfire with each part of my personality sitting on a stump or fallen log. Others select to sit on beach chairs or blankets at the waters edge at the ocean or lake. Some people select a favorite indoor meeting place such as a den with comfortable chairs facing a fireplace or around a circular table at a business conference center or in a quiet room at a retreat center they love. Other times people select a setting that is unique to them. A high school basketball coach picked the locker room at his school and the different parts of his personality were players on the team.

   To help make the Council image more concrete I have my client talk about the conflict again. As she is talking I help her to find a label or name for that particular part of her personality that is voicing those thoughts and feelings. "So one member of your Council is the Mother part of you.. It's important for her to be a good mother who takes care of the needs of her children. Who else is art the Council?" After she talks some more, I might say "That's the Career Woman part of you who loves her work and the feelings of competence that it gives her. She feels guilty about the amount of time and energy she puts into her work. Who else is at the gathering?" After listening some more I say," That's the Fearful part of you that's afraid of the changes that this new job offer will bring to your family life. Fear is usually a dominant member of everyone's Council. Who else is present?" This process continues for a while until there are five or six distinct inner voices that have been acknowledged and named.

   Then I will say to my client "It's also important to leave one or two empty seats for the Mystery Guest We don't know who they are yet, but they will show up at some point in the Council. They are always an important part of the Council and are essential for a good resolution. By leaving the empty seats we are inviting them to be present and are honoring the importance of their contribution."

   The final member of the Council is the Wise Elder. His or her presence represents a higher level of consciousness - the Higher Self - which is a source of our personal inner wisdom and deep compassion for self and others. The Wise Elder quiets down with a tone of gentleness and compassionate warmth the judgmental and self-critical voices which often dominate our client's inner dialogue. This aspect of the personality consistently holds the large question, What is in the best interests of myself and others in resolving this situation? In the initial stages of the Council, I often play the role of the Wise Elder until my client is able to recognize and value that part of herself.   

   The Council convenes without the pressure of a time limit - usually several months - until a good resolution, that involves all the Council members, emerges. The Wise Elder's compassionate presence and the metaphorical image of a circular gathering(symbolizing wholeness) provides a container for all the powerful feelings that come during the Council. As this gathering continues over many sessions I explain to my clients that this is a technique that helps top get the turmoil that is inside of them "out there" in some archetypal vessel that makes the feelings more manageable. While the Council is ongoing we imagine that the office space is the setting in which it convenes. Between sessions I encourage clients to carry the Council in their consciousness. Some people keep a journal as a way of continuing the work between sessions.

   In the Council chapter of Working From the Heart there are two lengthy examples of how a Council unfolds. There is also a discussion of the danger for both therapist and client of a premature closure.

   This blog entry is based on The Council chapter of my book Working From the Heart: A Therapist's Guide to Heart-Centered Psychotherapy    

Connecting With Our Higher Self

    Increasingly in my daily life,meditation and contemplative walks in nature I am trying to deepen my heart connection to my Higher Self. I no longer consider my higher Self as an abstraction. I now think of this aspect of my consciousness as an "old friend" that has been with me a long time - perhaps all my life - yet for most of my life I have not been consciously aware of his existence. Now as I deepen the sense of a personal ongoing connection I feel more his companionship - he's a source of inspiration, loving sustenance and inner peace.

   At least a dozen years ago in order to make our relationship more personal - less an abstract concept - I named this aspect of my consciousness. I called my Higher Self "Wiseheart." I think of Wiseheart as the source of my capacity for deep compassion and the carrier of my knowledge- conscious and unconscious, learned and unlearned - in the realm of the heart. I also think of him as the source of my Self-love. I imagine him as a bearded old man with a wizened face. In my office I have a wooden image of his face,carved from second growth redwood, that is tucked into a corner behind the chair my patients sit in.

   Five or ten minutes before I begin my morning/afternoon's work I look at this carved image of Wiseheart and say "Help me to be a source of compassion and heart wisdom for my patients today." Then I do some meditational breathing as a way of connecting more deeply to him and letting go of the thoughts and feelings of my ordinary ego consciousness. During sessions,whenever I sense that my small heart is constricting, because I'm feeling depleted or my patient is talking about some big pain or very complex situation, I again look at the carving of Wiseheart. At that moment I again try to connect to him, I breathe deeply and with my exhale breath let go of whatever may be causing me to distance myself. By doing this during every session - often several times - I am able to remain a compassionate presence for hours without becoming emotionally distant or tired.

   No one ever told me about the importance of connecting to my Higher Self. No one ever taught me any way of remaining a compassionate loving presence during sessions with my patients. At this time of my life, as an elder in the field of psychotherapy, I mentor my supervises and patients who are health professionals by talking with them about what I do and encouraging them to develop their own ways of personally connecting to their own Higher Self.

   I am acutely aware that within the broad spectrum of ways of being a psychotherapist or counselor there is also a wide range of perspectives about higher consciousness. When talking to my supervisees and patients I try to connect to each person's individual cosmology. For some I use the term Higher Self: for some,who have experience with the Recovery perspective, I use the phrase personal Higher Power; for others with a transpersonal perspective we find a term that fits for them; for those with a Christian perspective I use the term Christ Consciousness; for those with a Buddhist worldview i use the term Buddha Nature. From a pragmatic viewpoint - with an awareness that there are differences among these notions - I am trying to connect with whatever fits into the cosmology of that person.

   Richard calls his Higher Self "Father Dan." A former priest, who now has a private practice as a psychotherapist and pastoral counselor, Richard is tapping into his warm memories of his compassionate and insightful mentor whose real name was Father dan. At this time of his life Richard imagines Father Dan sitting in the living room of the cabin in the woods where he used to visit his mentor during retreats. At that time he was a priest in his late 20's and early 30's. Now Richard has internalized that memory of Father Dan as his image of his own Higher Self.

   Carl, a message therapist in his late thirties, has no visual image of his Higher Self. Instead he has developed this felt sense of a compassionate loving non-judgmental energetic presence. During our sessions Carl will periodically close his eyes and do some deep breathing when he wants to connect to his Higher Self. As he feels his breathing become less constricted, he also feels a releasing of muscular tension in his neck and shoulders. At these moments he can sense the presence of his Higher Self. During these times he feels more receptive to important insights and compassion towards himself and others. Carl also reports that he now does this kind of connecting to his Higher Self before and during his work with his clients.

   This topic is discussed in more depth in the Recharging and Small Heart, Big Heart chapters of Working From the Heart.    

It's Important for Psychotherapists and Counselors to Share Aspects of Our Personal Stories

   There are many situations in which our clients benefit from us sharing relevant aspects of our personal stories.Yet for some psychotherapists and counselors revealing any aspects of their lives feels unprofessional. As an elder with over 38 years experience in private practice I am advocating that - for the sake of our clients - we slog through those personal and professional issues that might prevent us from disclosing.
   Certainly there are good reasons why there are cautions or, in some schools of thought, prohibitions regarding talking about ourselves. There are instances where some psychotherapists/counselors are allowing their own personal neediness, narcissism or countertransference issues to intrude into the therapy. In those instances it would be very important for the psychotherapist/counselor to reflect,"Why am I doing so much sharing?" or "Why am I talking about myself so much with this client?" And to bring that question into their own therapy.
   There are traditions of psychotherapy theory that stipulate that the therapist should not share their personal narratives because that will interfere with the transference. In those theoretical perspectives the working through of the transference is the core wherein real change occurs and self-disclosure potentially could contaminate the work. As someone who was trained in the traditional psychoanalytic model my experience suggests otherwise - that transference remains a potent force that still occurs even after I share relevant aspects of my life.
         My Experiences 
   Early in my work I had quite a few adult patients who came from family backgrounds with an alcoholic parent. Often the therapy seemed to stagnate. I decided to take the risk and share that my father was an alcoholic. My patients were grateful for the heartfelt empathic connection. They opened up more and felt more hopeful. Their therapist not only knew what it felt like to be the child of an alcoholic, but also had recovered from the traumas of that experience. For those patients, the professionally distant,non-revealing therapeutic stance of the psychoanalytic method was too reminiscent of their depriving and often emotionally unavailable parents.
   Twice in my life - in my early thirties and at the age of fifty - I experienced periods of suicidal ideation. I never acted upon these thoughts, but I experienced the toxic mixture of despair and self-hatred that leads to the thoughts that death is the only way out. When I have patients who are suicidal, at some point I usually share with them that I too have experienced that state. This helps them to know that I am not judging them and I feel compassionate towards them. I am also offering myself as a beacon of hope in the darkness. I often say, "There is no pressure on you to be hopeful. I will carry the hope until it reawakens in you"
   Seven years ago I had a very aggressive form of lymphoma. A friend of mine, another psychologist in his early sixties, who was being treated for another form of lymphoma, died during the time I was receiving chemo. That sent me a very cogent message about what the disease could do. Although my recovery has gone very well, I live with the possibility that the cancer could return at any time and this time it may take me. As a result, death is my daily companion and informs my decisions every day. My sharing of this experience has deepened my empathic connection to patients who are struggling with serious illness and their own mortality. It makes them feel that their therapist is both a professional and a human being who has a genuine heartfelt sense of what they are going through.
   For those of us who do this healing work these difficult times in our lives expand our hearts and increase our capacity for compassionate caring. When we open our hearts and disclose these aspects of our journey that are relevant to their suffering our patients feel that compassion more palpably and more deeply. They feel us connecting to them as both professionals and fellow human beings.
   From my perspective there is one caveat to our talking about our own lives. I am initially quite cautious about talking about myself with clients who had narcissistic parents. because this can evoke such a strong transference reaction that might cause them to terminate the work, I usually share only after they have internalized a sense that I genuinely care about them  

Psychotherpists,Counselors,Life Coaches Can Be Soul Friends to Our Clients

   In the early stages of my evolution as a psychotherapist periodically patients would say that it felt like I was their "friend." Yet it didn't feel to them like any kind of friendship they had ever known. Some patients,as they were leaving my office, would say"See you next week my friend." Although I didn't express it to my patients, internally something about being their friend made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't quite know how to respond. Nothing in my training prepared me for it. Initially I thought that I had done something wrong- perhaps I had overstepped some boundary and done something unprofessional. Perhaps I had evoked some transference issue or was acting out some personal need for friendship. I was struggling because this notion of friend didn't fit into any category of friendship that I had ever experienced. In the beginning I pathologized it.
   Then I read a book by John O'Donohue entitled Anam Cara. It described the Celtic tradition of anam cara - soul friend. In Gaelic the word anam means soul and cara means friend. Since both of my grandparents were Irish immigrants the phrase had a strong resonance. His description of soul friend gave me a framework to understand what kind of unique friendship some of my patients were attempting to describe. It also added an additional layer of sacredness to how I viewed our work. My patients were entrusting their souls to me. For me this insight increased my sense of reverence for our roles as healers and a deeper sense of responsibility.
   It is not my intention to engage in an ontological discussion of the notion of soul. That conversation is well beyond the scope of this blog and my book. Suffice it to say that what I mean in this context is the essential nature of the person.
   The souls of most of my patients have been neglected, abused or wooded, treated with apathy or disrespect. Many of them have lived in soul-killing environments. I have felt that I need,by my presence and the ambience of my office, to provide the opposite - a sense of sanctuary, a safe refuge for their souls. When we initially meet our patients for the most part their souls are in hiding. From my perspective a primary goal of a more heart-centered approach is to invite the souls of our patients to come out again. From my experience the souls of our patients respond not to rational insights or cognitive techniques, but to welcoming warmth, compassionate presence and acts of loving kindness.
   I am advocating that psychotherapists, counselors and life coaches consider the notion that one of our cardinal roles is to be a soul friend to our clients. Being a soul friend is a particular kind of friendship that goes well beyond the ordinary definition of friend. He/she is the kind of friend who honors our essential nature, who wants to know our "deep within" and treats our souls with respectful reverence. He/she invites our soul to come out of hiding through nurturance, affection, celebration of growth and loving challenge. In myriad ways the soul friend says"You are valued. I am here to help you to become more fully the unique being who you can be."

   This is based on the Anam Cara chapter of my book Working From the Heart: A Therapist's Guide to Heart-Centered Psychotherapy (Jason Aronson Publishing 2011). Take a look at my website (williampryan.com) for more information.

Love Blocks: A Heart-Centered Approach to Psychotherapy and Counseling

   One of the primary goals of psychotherapy is to help our clients to let go of their barriers - love blocks - to easily receiving and giving love. My focus is upon the struggles we have in simply taking in love when it is offered. My over 38 years of private practice has taught me that when our clients become more receptive to love they naturally become more giving. Of course, it does not make rational sense that people block love. Yet we all do. Here are some everyday examples: many of us have trouble receiving praise; we struggle with letting people help us or asking for help; it's hard for many of us to easily accept physical affection or let someone in when they are trying to be emotionally close; how often do we internally say "If you really knew me you wouldn't say such nice things"; how frequently do we expect our partners to "read our minds' and know what our needs are- if we tell people what we want then what we get back is "not real love". All of these everyday instances, and more, are forms of blocking the love that is available to us. Notice that I am addressing the wide spectrum of ways that love is expressed, not just romantic or sexual love. Notice how pervasive and insidious these blocks are. We need to learn why we erect these barriers - often unconsciously - to letting love in.
   We need to take sufficient time with our clients to explore a central question, what are the wounds that block their receptivity to love? For most of us our patterns of blocking love were formed in childhood. If we observe infants and young children we are reminded that there exists a natural state of simply giving and receiving love. Within the limits of temperament(some children are slow to warm up,others are introverted), some genetic difficulties(autism, Aspergers syndrome) and considering the developmental stage(infants are more receptive to others when they are in their mother's arms), generally young children receive and take in love easily. By the time we are adults, most of us have experienced some significant degree of loss of the receptive self.
   Our primary therapeutic task is to uncover the reasons for that loss and to work through the blocks to receptivity. In that process often the initial most transformative moments are when our clients are able to take in our love. In the limited space of this blog I am unable to discuss in depth a number of blocks and how they get worked through. However, I will try to give a glimpse into the work using the example of three blocks.
                     I Don't Deserve Love  
   This is the most insidious block. For some people it is the core barrier; for others it is often present in addition to another block.The most common way it shows up in therapy is when I praise one of my patients. People with this block are usually unable to take in the compliment. This difficulty in receiving providrs an opportunity to explore how did this pattern develop. When this occurs I usually begin the exploration by saying in a warm non-judgmental tone,"Young children usually easily take in compliments and are not critical of themselves. What happened in your family that contributed to this moment when it was hard for you to take in my sincere praise? What has happened to make you feel so undeserving and critical of yourself?" This difficulty in receiving my praise repeatedly recurs. Often it leads to moments when my patient says,"My parents really knew me. If you really knew what I'm really like, you wouldn't think that I'm a good person". Then I inquire,"What do you mean if I really knew you?" The work with this block usually progresses slowly because it is so deeply rooted. The most transformative moments are when patients begin to take in my genuine caring for them as we get to know each other.
                   I Don't Need Anyone, I'm Strong  
   This is the block of those clients who are unable to ask for help from others or to take in help when it is offered. Therapy is difficult for them and filled with ambivalence because they are in the uncomfortable position of needing our help. Their childhood history is usually one of feeling emotionally alone, of psychological abuse - a toxic soul-killing environment.Their childhood experience is one of being in survival mode. "I'm on my own,how do I protect myself and get through this. I have to be strong." Their childhood homes were psychologically unsafe so they need to feel a sense of safety with us. Their sessions with us, our office space, becomes a refuge for their hearts and souls. The initial transformative moments occur when they are able to receive our simple acts of loving kindness such as my handing them a tissue when they are tearful instead of them taking one from a purse or my offering a cup of tea when they are in the waiting room or consoling touch after a tear-filled session.
                  Love Is Not in the Cards For Me  
   These patients feel like pariahs - perpetual outsiders - feeling that others find them repulsive and don't want them around. At the deepest level they feel like defective human beings. Love is available to others, but not to them because there is something wrong with them. Often their history is one of being unwanted by parents, their arrival on the planet being experienced as a burden, an unwelcome responsibility. As most sensitive children do, these clients interpreted their mother and fathers inability to nurture them to mean there's something wrong with me.
   One of the most healing aspects of their therapy is my welcoming attitude - I continually let them know that I am glad to see them. Of course, initially they don't believe that this is genuine saying/thinking, "It's your job to say those things, you don't really mean it." I remember one patient revealing with hesitation,"When you go into the bathroom after our sessions you probably throw up because you are so repulsed by me." The transformative moments of working through this block
usually occurred when my patients were able to take in my welcoming warmth and began to believe that I was glad to see them because I genuinely appreciated who they are.
   Our insights and clinical skills in uncovering these patterns are vital. However, it is our warm and compassionate presence and our acts of loving kindness that are essential in inviting the wounded receptive self out of hiding. Our clients begin to trust that, if they allow themselves to be open and receptive again, the outcome will be different this time. That process begins with our relationship with them.  

   This blog is based on the Love Blocks chapter in my book, Working From the Heart: A Therapist's Guide to Heart-Centered Psychotherapy. My story of working through my love block and several patient stories are included in that chapter.